Holiday Blues

Am I the only one that felt like the holidays were just a bore this year? Or was it just me not feeling it again?

I mean, yeah, my enthusiasm was below festive because of my own drama, but I noticed that no one else was really excited for the holidays either. No one was saying “Happy Holidays,” or “Merry Christmas,” for the most part. I got maybe a handful of those from strangers, and almost all of them were on Christmas Eve. I tried to say it a few times myself, but I was met with disinterested replies of, “Yeah, you too.” Everyone around me was just treating the whole season like it was just an ordinary, normal day.

And then Christmas rolled around and it was practically a normal day for me. Sure, I opened up presents from some of the family and called a few of them, but I didn’t spend the day with them in person. There wasn’t a tree in my house since I didn’t have the time nor energy to even bother. And I just spent most of the day with holiday specials playing on the TV while I played Pokemon Moon.

Even my Christmas dinner was a bust. Ever since food allergy diagnosis, I can’t even handle the staples of the holidays. All I had was a bit of ham, mashed potatoes, green beans, and a tapioca-based bread mix that I found a few months back. Before allergies, there would be all kinds of food: cheese and crackers, shrimp, my family’s holiday fruit punch, and grandma’s meatballs. There would be scores of options when it came to eating that I would be left feeling full. Now I’m stuck to a few foods, and they all have to be made from scratch, and they usually leave me feeling sick because of my body’s messed up immune system.

And to add insult to injury, I did end up reacting to one of the foods that I ate. It was either the ham or the bread, that much I can tell. And it is just the icing on the cake (that you can’t even eat mind you) when you are trying to cope with this new lifestyle only to have your attempts spit right back in your face. I didn’t even bother making a dessert after all of that. What would be the point when chances were I couldn’t eat it without making myself sicker?

This year seems to be ending on a bland note. Now with all the mainstream media putting out stories that round up 2016 in a nutshell, I can’t help but feel like the present is just so…melancholy. Like the whole world is just as sullen as I am, even though there were good things to be happy about at some point this year.

The holiday season is just becoming more and more dull to me. I don’t know if that’s because I’m an adult now or if it’s because my holiday cheer was MIA this year. All I know is that, much like my peers, I’m pretty sure I’m glad that the main holidays are over now. All that’s left to deal with is New Year’s and begin 2017.

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